today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate
and your grave
and eating your next pizza
DO U HAVE THAT ONE GIRL IN SCHOOL THAT EVERYONE LOVES BUT U DONT GET IT AND YOU DONT LIKE HER AT ALL AND YOU SENSE SOMETHING EVIL ABOUT HER
I’m a nerd, but not in the useful “you’ll all be working for me one day when I invent jet packs” way. I’m a nerd in the “I have very strong opinions about history and literature and will yell them at you if you give me even the slightest opportunity” way. And that one does not pay well.